Winter Time

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The past days were wonderful. Or let me put it differently: The weather was wonderful.

There was snow, much snow, on the grass, on the streets, on the cars, on the trees, on the roofs, everywhere. It was cold, nicely cold, very cold.

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And on Friday, the clouds - which were on the sky for at least three weeks - finally vanished. I woke up and sun rose, the little space of sky where the sun usually rises at this time of the year, right between two large buildings, was burning red. One couldn't see the sun, it was covered by clouds, but the clouds glowed pink.

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Then, at school, the sky was blue, just a bid dull, but the sun shone and the snow sparkled. It was such a nice day that I didn't want to go home - I just came to school, I don't have many lessons on Friday - so I decided to go with my friend to her pony, something which I wanted to do for a very long time.

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I finally touched a horse again, its fur, its mane. I groomed again. We went for a walk with two little ponies, also jogged a bid. We walked through wide, wide, wide fields, very gentle hills, here and there a line of trees, the sun burned on our skin, the snow was light and the clouds yellow. As the sun went down, everything turned rose, the trees, the snow and of course the sun itself. It turned into a deep, lurid, golden pink. On the exact opposite side of the sky the moon appeared.

 When I was home, I laid in my bed for a while - well, for ten minutes - in a dark room, seeing the dark blue, clear sky through my window, noticing the moon light on the floor and bedclothes. Then, when my body unfroze, my cheeks began to burn, they really glowed, turned rose, highly supplied with blood, being really hot.

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I finished the third book of a book series I liked so much as a child that evening. On the morning, on today's morning, I was woke up by the sun. Something which seemed as if it happened half a year ago for the last time. I didn't close my jalousie as I'd usually did, no, I let the sun shine into my room for the first time this year. I think it also was for the first time this winter.

I read the last two books of that series today, they are short books. I sat by the window and felt the weather, even though I was inside.

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These were some really nice days after the some crazy depressing ones a week ago. I'm looking so much forward to skiing after next week, although I'll now that I'll have to do a lot of work back home again at the rest of the holidays. Oh, but it will be so nice and so wonderful and there will be so much more moments like Friday. Well, maybe not, the temperature is to be above zero.

Oh, I love winter.

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I also decided that I'd love to live in the country one day. It wouldn't be a problem for me, I guess. I think I'd like it very much to live in the woods, with animals, being able to go outside whenever I want.

I never thought I'd actually think that.

My friend and me said, if we end as spinsters one day, the two of us would buy a farmhouse and keep horses and cats. And a watchdog, for her.

Oh, I love my life right now.

Oh Heart

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It's friday night and I see he's on and I want to talk to him so badly, I want to see him so badly but I know he won't appreciate it so I hold myself back.

I miss him so much.

I have memories of great times, great moments although I'm quite sure they are all imaginary. I remember his eyes, his smile, his body, his niceness towards me - now, like two years later, I doubt that he really meant it, he just was kind and polite to me because of his mother, probably, because she somehow managed to find children to play cards with and he didn't want to disappoint her because he's a good son.

God, I'm so devasted. This situation just hurts. It hurts to remember him, it hurts to know that he doesn't really care about me, it hurts to know that all the situations I imagine which could happen between the two of us will most likely never happen. He's so fucking far away, not just by space.

I wonder why I always do that to me. Falling in love with someone and then being able to get destroyed by it.

I wish so much that we'll meet one day again. That I will see him smiling for me again, whimsically, squinting his eyes a bit, his eyes having a sparkle, us looking at each other challenging, grinning, sharing a little secret.

I doubt that that will ever happen.

I have to stop now or I will cry.

Today there was a bit snow, not much, but something.

Florence, Paintings and Snow

This weekend was a very tough one -- but a nicely tough one.

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It started with Florence + The Machine on Saturday -- yes, I got tickets (since May or so, to be honest) and I went with my one best friend. And it was such a great experience.

We stood before the mixer, nearly in the middle and around us strangely few people were. Additionally we moved a lot during the really fantastic supporting act and both lead to enough space for us. Which we completly used.

During Florence's performance we jumped up and down, danced, sang (badly of course), cheered and had fun. The people around us where kind of squares and barely moved at all but that was okay, we had fun though. And my friend was cool, she really was casual and danced and so (which I hadn't seen before ^^).

We also clapped a lot (especially during The Dog Days Are Over) and due a ring on my one hand, my other hand hurt Sunday. In the evening my neck sucked. ;)

But overall I had a very great night, full of awesome songs and endorphins.

(See some awesome pictures here - not mine! ;) ) 

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I really wanted to sleep for like the whole Sunday -- but I needed to get my painting finished. 

For my Arts course I needed to paint a big picture and the fact that I'm very bad at drawing and painting didn't help me at all. The good thing was that there wasn't water at my school (I guess because of construction works) and we had no school, consequentially I worked the whole Monday on that damn thing. And I actually finished it! 

I'm relieved it's over but I need to present a real analysis of it and I really don't like that. I don't want to deal to much with it anymore.

And the most awesome thing (next to Florence) also started on Saturday.

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SNOW!

The first few flakes fell on Saturday morning and were away around midday. On Sunday afternoon it finally really snowed (with white cars, trees, roofs and so) and it still is there! Of course it's not much, but nevertheless, snow! 

This night I woke up and the clouds were weird orange coloured, I dragged me up and looked out of the window -- aaaaah, it snowed again! I just love the weather right now. (And the fact that the train has troubles again is actually kind of fun.)

Due the construction works -- or maybe by mistake -- there's only water in the school's basement but plentiful! So, I again have a school-free day. Which isn't bad of course, I can write a post again and I will start with my Christmas presents. Oh, how good I actually feel!

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Pic spam! :D

It Is Winter Now

Hereby I decide that it's winter, that it's christmas, that the nicest part of the year starts. And what does that mean? Yes, right, a design change.
This time I've done something ... different, I mean, it's just my third winter here but by different I also mean something different than for all the seasons which were featured on Monday Roses.
I used the snow picture as background, header and footer and the effect is quite interesting I think.

So now I start doing what I also do in the mid of November. I wait for snow. Actually, it already is very cold and there already is ice on the car's windows in the morning - but still, snow misses.

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Snow, you're welcome here.

Longing for Autumn

I don't know if I do anything wrong but again I have so much bad things in my life (school, love, illnesses). But I won't break down, not yet; just two more weeks and I'll have holidays again. Wait, well, in these two weeks I have three exams and one test. But anyway, I hope that when I stay with my grandparents it will be autumn.

Oh, autumn ...

... brown leaves ...

... long nights ...

 
... clear air ...

 
... days in bed ...

... scarfs and gloves ...

... candlelights ...

... days of rain ... 

... reddened skin ...

... forrests ...

... reading, books ...

... tea ...

... colourful ...

And then, some day, there will be snow.

Yes.

I have a lot of stuff to do. I don't know what happened to my Arts teacher, somehow she suddenly has the feeling that we have to do too less things as a student.
When she said that yesterday, I sat there with an open mouth. I couldn't say anything. It has been like a vilification of all the things I've done in the last year, of the time I've spent - I was shocked how she obliterated the pain these things made to me.

I liked this day today.
You know, it starts to get lighter in the mornings and to be warmer. I've already been like "okay, that has it been with winter, spring comes".
As if. Really, as if.
Today, in the first lesson around 8:40 a.m. it started to snow. Big flakes, as if winter has always been there. Soon the whole school ground, the trees, the roof of our neighboor school, everything has been full of snow.

A very good friend of mine (which I got to know this year) and me went out to be in the snow. The younger students made snowball fights and we built a 4 inches high snowman, yes, that's right. That's why she is my friend.
Well, four hours later all the beautiful snow became mud. I don't want to think about that too much because I want to remember the beauty.

I just talk about the weather and mostly post songs. I honestly don't know if even someone reads that.
It's not possible to also care about my blogs at the moment. Tumblr is running by the way, that's just clicking.

Hm.

Feeling the Cold Air on the Cheeks

So.

Winter. It really has been a winter. Last week it was cold, very cold - -18°C on one day - but the sun shine and you could hardly find a cloud on the sky.
There was snow. Much snow. Plenty of snow. Nearly enough.

I love these holidays, exactly because of that. It gives me a feeling of winter, of this season I love most.
And I almost don't care about the fact that there never will be snow like that in my hometown. Because, if I can look forward for this one week, I am able to ignore the horrible appearance of snow here.

Well, at least there is a bit snow here. Some crumbs on the grass and roofs. Not much, but at least something.
If it's cold enough the next weekend, I will escape for my grandparents to go ice-skating. But I think I have too much homeworks and too much films I want to see.


Being on the internet I talked to my friends and - of course - to him later as well. We talked a bit but after a while he had to leave for dinner and he wrote nice things. (I'm sorry, I need to reflect that whole thing, no one is online to tell ...)

He wrote: "You are my best friend and you know that I always (mostly) lend an ear to you but I need to leave to make dinner." and I responded with "ah, no, that's okay, it was very nice to talk to you :D" and he answered: "the same for me with you".

I dreamt on spending the vocation with him and our best friends.

And everywhere are advertisements for Valentine's Day - I really didn't care about that my whole life - and I hope no one will give me something, especially he. I don't know whether he is that kind of person. I really hope he isn't.

Having A Bit of Winter

Uh. I'm leaving for our ski holidays tomorrow and I have so much stuff to do.
To be honest, I don't have anything packed up yet - tumblr's fault. And now there's a casting show on TV ... the first one I really watched. I don't really like casting shows but I somehow love this.

So, ski holidays. I'm going to escape into snow and winter. Here is nothing like that yet, well, it's at least colder than 0°C.

Have a nice week, the next Sample Posts will follow then. And maybe also winter pictures.

A P.S. to the last post

It's snowing.

It's a dangerous time in my life.

I always worked hard and was quite successful. I was attentive at school, came home, did homework, ate something and fell asleep to start with everything all over again the next day.

But now - I don't have the feeling to have to do homework although I have plenty of them. I'm tired of everything. At the moment I come at home, fall into my bed to take a nap for two hours and having the power for all these things I have to do. Which I don't want to do.
And a lot of lessons are cancelled because teachers are ill and no other teachers substitute in the upper classes. This week I only have had 18 out of 33 lessons. That's nearly the half.

At this moment, other ones would drop out. Would let it be.

That sounds inviting.

But:

Working for school has always something been like a basic requirement of life for me. It was something that's the way it is. And it still is.

Of course I'll go on. It wouldn't fit to me.
At first I would fail and admitting that would be ... hard. And wrong.
And then: It's only this year and the next one, one and a half year I have to stand. Giving up so close to the end - it would simply be failing. I have enough power to make it through that and after that I take a little break.

Power. Strength. Yes, I'll need a lot of it.
And that's why I'm still going to escape to my grandparents during holidays, gaining distance from this whole school thing, stress, internet. Just me, nature and a lot of things I like.

The week after the next one we are going to go ski. I will see snow, winter, things we don't have here. Here birds start tweeting, a twany owl sings in the morning and flowers prosper. It's hard to believe that there will be a real winter as the last one.

Well, that's my current situation in a nutshell.
Florence + The Machine is on the radio.

He hold my hand -

Winter Comes

After this whole weeks of grey clouds, on the weekend the sky has been blue and full of sun. And today I woke up and saw the sky. I don't know what I expected, but surely not that.

The sky is full of greyness again. Well, that's not something special. But then I stood up and -

It snows. And it still snows.
My school starts just with the third lesson today and so I'm sitting in the living room and seeing this snow drifting. It aren't big snow flakes and they doesn't staies on the asphalt streets. But the roofs, trees, ways, lawn, everything has a bit snow on it.

The best way to wake up.

New Things in the New Year

So, here I'm again. I hope you spend your last days well and that the new year started alright.

I read. 

I read the whole days between Christmas and New Year's Eve and the reason is nothing different than: The Hunger Games. 

These three books are quite amazing. Things happen there which are unbelievable but the main character Katniss talks about it with an interesting form of callousness so the whole thing become authentic. And at the end - she is alive, they are no more Hunger Games, she lives together with her love Peeta and has two children - it's still no happy ending. The two can rarely sleep, have nightmares and sometimes can't find hope. It caught me.

And now I wait for March for the first film.

Of course there isn't any snow. It's simply too hot. Everything seems to happen two months later: The pre-summer rain has been in August, in September it was summer-warm and now in December it rained as if it was November. Today there has been a heavy storm and on my way home there was a thunderstorm. In January!

I realised that they are too many songs I want to post but simply don't be able to manage that. I mean, I have school things to do, I have to write news and need to rest. But I still want to remember these songs with catching tunes, melodies and other things I like. They shall not get dusty on my Facebook profile.

So I decided to make Sampler Posts. Perhaps each week, perhaps only twice a month. I will post the videos, lines which stayed in my head, other short things I want to mention. 

(I don't know exactly yet if I still will write more "detailed" post about a song. We'll see, won't we? :D)

I don't know if that would help. But I'll try.

(Btw, I noticed that you can't comment to a post when you're on the Home page. I don't really know the reason because in my opinion I did everything I should do. ;) Please just check the post page, scroll down and there you can comment! :D )

Christmas

As you may already noticed I’m not very active on blogging at the moment. The only reason for this: Christmas Holidays.
They start tomorrow and I’ll stay with my grandparents the whole time, so, you know it already, I won't post something again this year. A

I wish you all wonderful Christmas, a happy and peaceful New Year and that your wishes become true. :D
 
Much, much love!

PS: There's still no real snow.

SNOW

Finally - finally! - there is a sign of snow.
Well, it's a mix of snow and rain. For one minutes there's snow evverywhere and then, some moments later, it rains again. And of course the snow melts but however! Snow!

I want to sit on my bed, watching through the window and seeing all the snow flakes swirls - but I can't because I have to leave for my grandparents. I hope that this weather holds on for a two hours or so - there's nothing better I can imagine than driving car, watching the snow flakes and listening to christmas music. That's what I'm going to do.

Have a nice weekend, too.