I always worked hard and was quite successful. I was attentive at school, came home, did homework, ate something and fell asleep to start with everything all over again the next day.
But now - I don't have the feeling to have to do homework although I have plenty of them. I'm tired of everything. At the moment I come at home, fall into my bed to take a nap for two hours and having the power for all these things I have to do. Which I don't want to do.
And a lot of lessons are cancelled because teachers are ill and no other teachers substitute in the upper classes. This week I only have had 18 out of 33 lessons. That's nearly the half.
At this moment, other ones would drop out. Would let it be.
That sounds inviting.
But:
Working for school has always something been like a basic requirement of life for me. It was something that's the way it is. And it still is.
Of course I'll go on. It wouldn't fit to me.
At first I would fail and admitting that would be ... hard. And wrong.
And then: It's only this year and the next one, one and a half year I have to stand. Giving up so close to the end - it would simply be failing. I have enough power to make it through that and after that I take a little break.
Power. Strength. Yes, I'll need a lot of it.
And that's why I'm still going to escape to my grandparents during holidays, gaining distance from this whole school thing, stress, internet. Just me, nature and a lot of things I like.
The week after the next one we are going to go ski. I will see snow, winter, things we don't have here. Here birds start tweeting, a twany owl sings in the morning and flowers prosper. It's hard to believe that there will be a real winter as the last one.
Well, that's my current situation in a nutshell.
Florence + The Machine is on the radio.
He hold my hand -
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