Analysis of Number 3

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It's so strange that we're suddenly talking. Well, not really talking, more like fooling around a bit, making some jokes. That is something which didn't happen before, we maybe talked a bit but I swear that you didn't think high of me and certainly didn't like me as much as I liked you.

You're like always, you make your special jokes, I answer, you like it, nno more comments. But right now, the whole thing was started by you, you made the first step and I guess that's the thing which irritates me so much. I was posting on fb that there's always wounderful weather when we have to sit at home preparing a finals presentation. Today - where we have to study for our first written final exam - you made a comment on my profile about the again wounderful wether. The first step, kind of. And you got the likes, as always. And I made a comment, as always, and as always I feel small, petite and dumb. You like my comment, as always. No more discussion, as always.

I would't say that the feelings I once had for you just went all like "BOOOOM! HERE WE ARE AGAIN!" as they'd maybe do for an other boy. Just the feeling of inadequateness suddenly was there again.

And the thought that you suddenly communicate with me again - after we've been in the same course for a year and didn't even exchange real looks. Not because we're awkward around each other, more likely because the two of us are different kinds of persons who aren't really connected, who don't need to communicate, who avoid each other by nature.
But on the other hand you are somebody who likes to show his confidence, his self-confidence, his preeminence by making a ham comment, showing that the other one is worse, dumber, stupider than you. You're someone trying to be the badass.

The thing is that you sometimes have more sense of what's okay and what isn't okay than the other ones in our year. You know some principles. That's good. And that, additionally to your way of behaving, makes you to a leader or at least to an authority. You are able to end an discussion by a few, simple words and although you annoy a lot people by that (also me), you know what you can do (I think). I wish you that you don't loose that capability and are going to use this possibility in future the right way.

Although I can also imagine very well that you'll be screwed. And about that I'd laugh full-throated.