Differences

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I don't get that addicted to boys like I used to and it's so crazy and I'm kind of worried.

There always were one or two boys I really loved, strongly felt attracted to. Every time we started a conservation, I freaked out and got completely excited and my heart beat fast and there was tense in my body and everything was electric. All was fire.

Now there are two boys I really like - like, not love, I guess. One of them I know since the 7th class, he became a good friend, then a close one, now he's like the best male friend I've got (off internet).

The other one I met on Friday during a birthday party. He's that kind of guy, intelligent, scientific, down-to-earth, doesn't care about drugs and alcohol, very tall, gangly, practical haircut (I really don't know why I always end up with boys like him). But he has a very nice smile and handsome eyes and was very funny and communicative although he didn't even know us and we talked like the whole evening and made fun stuff (like "drawing" and decorating the glasses with cocktail decoration) and yesterday and today as well and I really like him.

But I don't get that excited over a conservation. I still love to talk to him, I don't deny it and I look forward to it. But it's not something I hope for 24/7. I want to meet him again and spend time with him. I want to talk to him, getting to know more things about his life and his siblings who he mentions a lot and I already like.

The thing which worries me it that, although I feel so good about him (and about that classmate as well) and although that would be typical thing about me falling in love, is that there's no fire.

I don't know what serious damage the Dead Whale may has caused. Maybe it's even nothing at all but I know that something about my feelings is different.