Going Somewhere Alone

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(This turned out to be way longer than expected ...)

Well, that was an interesting evening. It was the first time I ever went to the cinema alone. I wanted to go to the fan screening of The Perks of Being A Wallflower so badly and own that poster but all my friends were busy working on their final presentation (which I already finished by the way, I just have to make some big cuts because I talk way longer than I should). Neither my sister nor my mother wanted to join me (the latter noticed too late that I would go and remorsefully sat at her desk with wet hair and being crestfallen).

So I went alone. And it turned out to be perfectly fine. I could go to the toilet when I want, I could change my seat as I like, I could take the way I want without asking for agreement. I told my mother and she asked me with a grin why I had to simulate everything from her.

I took the train, listened to the soundtrack (to which I listened in the past days a lot, only realising it when I actually did it on purpose) and read the first pages of my English copy. On the cash register I got asked whether I want to sit in the middle or on the side and I made the mistake to pick the side - maybe it also was because of the cashier who I understand very badly but I clearly didn't think through it. Anyway, I went to the screening room and in front of the door stood many people so I went to the toilet first (very important information, I know). When I was back I saw that there were free drinks but it was orange juice and I don't like orange juice. There were brownies (reference! reference!), I should have taken those brownies! - but I guess I would have been too thirsty after it, as I always am after eating something.

My seat was in the F row which was in the front (but in an okay way) but on the very far side, only one seat from the corridor. I decided to change my seat but later because there were still coming people in the room and I didn't want to take anybodies place. A couple came and sat on my right side and they got on my nerves! They clearly weren't there because of the film, more like because one of the people who organized the screening was their friends and they thought they were important and stuff, urgh. Later there came three girls who talked loudly in Spanish and were very, very hyper.

They started the happenings before the actual film by asking how often the audience had already seen the film. Some had already seen it five times or so and the man from that couple next to me said to his girlfriend that he can't really believe that because they let people see the movies only six times. I was so confused by that, I mean, that doesn't make any sense at all, does it? The production firms and cinema want to make as much profit as possible and won't forbid someone watching their films, do they? He added something like: "Uh, that can't be something legal, that has to do something with online stuff." I was even more disgusted.

When the organisers found the people who had seen the film the most they asked them questions to win something The Perks related. They asked them how old Ezra Miller was while shooting the film - he only was 17, can you believe it? Anyway, an other question they asked was with which director both Emma Watson and Logan Lerman had already worked before and no one of them was able to answer it so that guy asked the audience and of course I'm a good fangirl who knows her stuff and screamed to the stage: "CHRIS COLUMBUS!"

Which was right of course. The guy said "I think that's worth a prize!" and I had to go to the stage to pick it. I didn't want to leave my bag alone but I hid it under my jacket (paranoiac!). I actually won the German copy of The Perks of Being A Wallflower which was both bad and good, bad because I already own it in English and good because there's a sticker on it and because that's the first prize I won for a long time! I was very happy and on the way back my knees started to tremble and I became very red. But it was a good feeling.

That woman next to me asked me: "There is a book?!" And I said: "Yes, the author is also the director" but she didn't really react so I said it again and let her be. After that the host talked about "The Bling Ring" and asked who was the director of the movie - what I knew, therefore I rose my head which that guy saw and sadly said "no" (but with a grin, so that wasn't that bad). Later there was a question why one can notice that someone didn't read the book when they say that Charlie's sister is also called Candice in the book - you notice that because on the book he never mentions her name and that woman said "Eh, I don't understand that ....?!?!" and I couldn't have the pity with her to explain it again.

Then they read Charlie's letter out loud and I was sad I didn't write a comment on that status on Facebook - but they already were enough, I later noticed. When they finally end the competition and reading, I took my belongings and changed my seat. Through the whole opening program I checked where was a free seat and there was one two rows over me and because of the stair it was way more in the center. I went to that girl who sat next to it (and seemed to be alone, too) and asked her whether it was free, she said yes and took her things away, I thanked twice and sat down and saw the movie in a way more comfort position that I would have done.

The movie - the movie was perfect again. I really, really, really, like it. The cinematography is so high-quality and the actors are perfect and the soundtrack is the best one ever. It supports an very interesting feeling - "both happy and sad and I still try to figure out how that can be." And I cried again, of course, and I laughed again and the girl next to me (who hadn't seen the film before, as I noticed as that organiser asked the audience) sighed and cried once, too, I guess. She left very soon, I'd like to talk to her but it didn't happen and that's okay, too.

But there was that one guy who is maybe 20, 25 years old or so who watched the film often and also read a part and I swear he is a tumblr guy! I stood behind him and his friend as we went out of the room and heart him talking about Amanda Seyfried and a Lord of The Rings poster he also owns and Jennifer Lawrence who fall at the Oscar's and is such a cool person - that actually was the moment when I thought he is from tumblr, too.

The organisers didn't expect that many people so they had troubles with the posters because they didn't bring enough. I got one they had as decoration and there still were 5, 6 people behind me and I don't know what they did for them. After I was on the toilet again and went downstairs to leave I heart a boy talking to that person who rip your tickets: "And I just went to them and gave them my poster and they gave me that DVD, cool, isn't it?" And I thought I should do the same but still was on the way out and there suddenly was that man who asked me what poster I've got there. I was like, oh my god, he won't know that film, and said that there was a fan screening. He asked "Who's on it?" and I wondered if he knew Emma Watson but I said it anyway. "Emma Watson? Emma Watson is here?", he said with a shocked face. "No, no, she's just on the poster!" I said and the thanked. (Why do people always ask me?)

I continued to leave and thought 'Girl, if you don't go back now and try to change your prize, you'll regret it forever!' which I'd totally do. So I turned around, acted as if I had forgotten something in the screening room and got back where the organisers still were. They counted money and I explained to one of them my problem but sadly they didn't have anything left. That girl who counted the money switched in and I had to explain it all over again but she said just the same as the other boy. So yeah, no DVD for me then. But hell, I've won a prize!

I wanted to text my mother that I'm on the way home but my mobile phone hadn't had any energy any more so I just hurried. Still being emotional after the film and the discussion with the organisers, my heart beat very fast and my breath was hard, too, and I felt very good and alive and I headed for the train, I ran because it just came into the station. There weren't many people but of these there were a lot of young people with huge back-packs, I guess they all were students who spend the weekend somewhere else.

At home my mum was still up - and my sister, too, it already was 8:30 p.m. and normally she's already in the bed if not in front of the TV (which she wasn't). I told her the most important things, not because I didn't want to know her everything, more likely because the time wasn't enough, the details will follow tomorrow or the day after. She said that I broke the family tradition finally winning something and I said to her: "Well, I know stuff, you see?" And we laughed and hugged and this was one of the best experiences I ever had.